Today

Today I was sitting on the bus, minding my own business, reading a book....and i had this thought.....
i know fat is such a horrible word....but i'm going to use it anyways....

today i was sitting on the bus seat and i wished i could be fat so that i could just be so comfortable.... could fit right in between the front of my seat and the back of the person in front of mine.....and i though how comfortable that would be.
and i know i would probably not feel too good about myself because bigger people are reduced down to so little these days...but i wished i could be fat.

and i'm thinking that no one should be reduced to anything. today's world has this perfect image for people....you have to be a certian height with a flat stomache, rounded hips, perfectly shaped legs and a beautiful face with wonderful shiny hair....what is the perfect shape, color, length, width....what is it?

i think we drive ourselves so hard to find that " perfect " image that we get so stuck down....i finally realized that there is no perfect and if there was....everyone woudl look the same, act the same, and completely be the same person. we would all be walking around with "that" hair and "that" body and "that" face....we would be completely fake.....

instead of this boring imagined life we have an amazing reality that we need to come to face.... we are all different and we can never be the same. people....you can change your hair and your clothes and your body....heck, you can even change so many things about your DNA....but you can never change who you were meant to be...you can never change who God inspired you to be.....

there will be people with red hair, green eyes, blonde hair and brown eyes....there will be fat and skinny, short and tall people....there will be millions of different DNA codes and guess what! none of them will EVER be the same...

i can tell you this....i woudl rather stick out then just fade in.....i think to some degree we would all like to be something different, special.....unique....we would all like to be....ourselves....

we don't want to change but because of what society says, we are almost forced to change who we are to fit in.

well i can tell you this. i'm sick of it. i'm sick if this game that we play to fit in and look like everyone else. i want to be who God made me to be and i'm not taking any shortcuts....i'm not taking the easy way out. i'm going to go the long way. i'm going to go the hard way....because i'm me, i dont' make decitions other people do.

i have brown hair, blue eyes....medium height, medium build....i'm nothing but me.....but who God made me to be.....

i refuse to perminently change who i am on the outside so that i can pretend to be something that isn't me in the inside...i refuse to be like you.....i refuse to be anything other then what God has created me to be....fat, thin, tall, short, black, white....i am me.